Freedom from Guilt
by Love-n-Monsters
Summary: Kelly is old, Nathan is still 17. Everyone else is dead, missing, or far away. Nathan is suffering so Kelly makes a hard decision. Some swearing and violence in this story - hence the rating. I do not own any of the characters from Misfits!
1. A Tough Decision

Kelly let her mind wander out to the thoughts of those around her in the park. 'Need to take out another mortgage on the house' came from a young man sitting on a bench across from her. 'I want to fuck you right now!' that was a girl sitting with a guy obviously on a picnic. 'I hate my life that was a teenager' sitting on her own. Kelly was comfortable among others thoughts now. The years of growing accustomed to it left her free to roam through others people s heads with relative ease. She preferred the thoughts of others to her own. Every day she grew older in two weeks she would turn 69 and Nathan stayed the same; never changing, never growing older, stuck in his 17 year old body. She envied him so much but she knew how painful it was for him to watch his best friends grow old, knowing they would die while he never could.

'Boo' the thought came from behind her and she smiled as a curly haired gangly teen sat down next to her. "Hey Nate". She said smiling. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and gave her a hug. "Hey Granny" , he teased. She smacked his arm lightly.  
>"You want to head back to the house..." he asked winking suggestively and she couldn't resist grinning. Sometimes it felt like no time at all had passed and they were all still doing their community service, Nathan, Simon, Alisha, Curtis &amp;Kelly. The five of them had been so close, family. But now Alisha had gone, dying of liver failure, the alcohol had done that. Curtis had moved to America and Simon, Simon had vanished, one day he just wasn't there. The times when she had entered Nathans head, her curiosity getting the better of her, she had been horrified to hear his thoughts. Behind the facade his revulsion at their relationship warring with the love that he still felt, she couldn't bear it. She shook her head slowly but stood up anyway. Tottering slightly as she gained her balance, Nathan caught her arm and steadied her.<p>

This wasn't the way he'd imagined living. Watching his friends grow old around him, waiting for them to die so that he could move on. Sometimes he loved his immortality other times he simply thought of it as a curse. They walked slowly out of the park heading back to the house. Nathan making rude remarks about the people on the streets and making silly comments on how they would look together... arm in arm, or holding hands. Kelly remained rather silent until they reached the house. "I'm tired Nate, I m going to head up. Ok?". He leant forward and pecked her on the lips whispering good night. She made her way slowly up the stairs. Her thoughts rotating around Nathan; his pain, his suffering, his anxiety and worry. She couldn't bear to cause him so much frustration. And so she made a decision. The bathroom cabinet contained all sorts of medication, lots of it left over from when Alisha came home from the hospital with stuff to take to try and cure her. Then some drugs, painkillers, alcohol. Kelly wandered in and collected an assortment of bottles she then entered her room and sat down to write.

'Dear Nathan...' the words came flowing from the bottom of her heart and the tears flowed freely as she wrote him this letter. This final letter to end his pain.

'Dear Nathan,  
>I know that you love me and I love you too so please don't hate me for what I have done. About a month ago we were having sex (as we do) and you said something without meaning to. It was just a passing comment about my wrinkles but it peaked my curiosity about how you really felt. So I used my gift, I read your mind. Nathan I m so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you in this way I ve loved you ever since our foolish teenage years, you haven t changed at all and whoever you find next will be lucky to know you. But I can t live with making you wait. With making you watch while I go grey and wither and die. So I m ending it now. Please know that I have always and always will love you with all my heart. And forgive me for what I've done.<p>

Kelly'

She then sat on the bed and swallowed pill after pill, washing it down with alcohol. Then she lay back, closed her eyes and waited for the end.


	2. Return of a Friend

Nathan turned the music up and started dancing around the living room. His head bopping to the music his arms pumping in time. He grooved into the kitchen and started to make himself a cheese toasty. The smell filled the room and he inhaled dramatically. The evening passed the same as every other day for him, with the laptop propped up against a cushion having a wank. The sun rose and Nathan found himself lying on the sofa with him head resting on something sticky. EW! he yelled and leapt up. He ran into the shower and washed away the grime and dirt. Morning Kelly darling! he said as he walked into her room. He pulled back the curtains and turned to look at her. Kelly? worry coated his voice he shook her gently. Come on Kel, Wake up! tears welled up and spilled over rolling down his cheeks. No. No. NO! he screamed. KELLY! he shook her roughly now, determined to wake her up. He succeeded in doing nothing but dislodging her arm which tumbled floorward a bottle of drugs clattering over it. What? Nathan looked utterly confused. He searched around the room and finally spotted the letter with his name on it. He picked it up and sat down to read it. By the time he finished the tears had run dry but his body still shook with sobs. You knew he whispered to the corpse beside him. You always knew. He stood up and headed downstairs. Nathan spent the rest of the day arranging the funeral. His mind racing with what Kelly had written. Sometimes it was so easy to forget what she could do. He never managed to control his thoughts enough around her. Now she was gone. The pain was more than he could manage. It hadn t been this bad when Alisha had died. But then maybe Curtis had felt this way, he always said he d left because he couldn t bear to live in the place they d lived together, he couldn t stand walking the streets she d never walk again. When Simon had gone no one had known what happened we all knew he might be alive somewhere. But we d never know. No one could ever find Simon if he didn t want to be found. So now it was just him, just Nathan all alone. Kelly wanted him to move on. But he didn t know if he could. The men from the funeral parlour came and took her away. The house felt empty and cold after that. There was a huge hole in his chest somewhere. He missed her. He missed her cheery smile and her bright eyes. The way she scolded him and the way she embraced him. Nathan ran out the house, he ran and he just kept running.

Time passed very slowly, Nathan knew why Kelly had done what she had, he just wished he had asked him first. He was lonely, depressed and utterly miserable. After a few weeks he stopped eating. The pain was nothing compared to the emptiness. It was soon after this that he changed. He contemplated following in Kelly's footsteps and overdosing. After all something might work, or maybe like a cat he only had nine lives. Nathan tried several times to end his life, suicide being his last option, he couldn't live with Kelly, she was dead, and he wouldn't live without her. He couldn't find someone else and pretend she had never been like she seemed to want him to. So he tried to overdose, it didn't work. He tried a bullet through the head, that was painful and didn't work. He tried strangulation and poison, each time he woke up it was worse. So he took a trip to the pier, a last attempt. He tied rocks around his ankles before jumping in. It worked, he sank lower and lower, water filling his lungs, he was choking, drowning. It all went black.

His eyes opened, it was dark and wet, he couldn't breathe. The memories came back as he began choking again. He kicked off the rocks and tried to struggle towards the surface... he didn't make it before he died again. The second time he made it a fraction closer. The third time a strong pair of arms gripped him around the middle and dragged him upwards. As they broke through the surface Nathan choked up a lungful of water and dragged in a painful breath. The trek to shore was short and Nathan did little letting his saviour drag him along. When they finally collapsed on the sand Nathan rolled onto his back and panted "Who are you?"

"Look at me" Said a deep voice. 


End file.
